In the world that we live in today where the sense of entitlement is becoming more prevalent, it is imperative for parents to teach manners to children, and more importantly, to raise well-mannered children.
Kindness and respect are mutually inclusive. Regardless of how old your child is, the following tips will help you get started on raising a well-mannered child.
Tips for teaching manners to children
#1 Manners need to be taught
Firstly, manners are not innate; manners need to be taught. Teaching manners to children will help them grow up to become more socially attentive which goes a long way in guiding them to regulate their emotions and understand others’ feelings as well.
But there’s more – teaching manners to children will also teach them to be grateful and polite – values that are lacking in society today.
When children express their appreciation by saying “thank you”, it helps them see that they are on the receiving end. This helps children develop a sense of empathy as they realise people are going out of the way to make things happen for them. Without such expressions of gratitude, children often become self-centred and entitled.
Read also: How to Discipline a Child: An Age-by-age Guide to Disciplining Children
#2 Start as early as you can
Starting early not only helps to instil manners in children, it also becomes a way of life such that it becomes an automatic behaviour. This is especially true for toddlers as they will only understand the true meaning of “please” and “thank you” until they are much older.
Practice saying “May I,” “Please,” “Thank you” and “You’re welcome” whenever the situation calls for it. Also encourage children to say, “Excuse me” and to apologise by saying “I’m sorry” when needed.
#3 Modelling the right behaviour
According to Dr. Maryam Abimbola Mikail, parents are the best barometer when it comes to children modelling manners. If you don’t set a good example for your children by being kind and respectful to everyone around you, how then can you expect your children to follow suit?
Parents are children’s first teachers. Making an honest self-appraisal of yourself periodically and being mindful that your children are watching you would help. Be patient with yourself and your child as you consistently guide, encourage and affirm your child in this aspect.
#4 Practice makes perfect
Teach your child to look people in the eye, face them directly, and shake their hand when meeting them. Go over how they should answer the telephone, and teach children the appropriate behaviour in unique situations such as attending funerals.
A great way to help children practice is to role play with dolls or puppets when they are younger. Parents can also role play with older children by imagining a scenario and injecting fun and humour to help children remember the lesson better.
For older children capable of holding conversations, teach them to look the person in the eye. Teach them that it is polite to listen to the other person, respond appropriately and wait for their turn to speak.
#5 Consistency is key
Children thrive on routine. Likewise, when teaching manners to children, parents need to be consistent so that it sends a clear message across to children that a particular behaviour is acceptable, while others are not. Remember that positive reinforcement encourages good behaviour and discourages the bad ones.
Consistency or repetition also help children internalise the polite words where they will eventually use them appropriately. Soon enough, you will see your child using polite words as part of her daily interactions.
#6 Embracing diversity
At some point, your child is going to start noticing differences between himself and his friends. Therefore, one important lesson to teach your child is acceptance.
Teach your child to be inclusive. After all, nobody likes to be left out. Also teach your child to embrace diversity and disability by accepting and respecting those differences. One way is to expose children to physical disabilities or ethnicity through books or social media and encourage open discussions. This will give parents a chance to address children’s questions and curiosity more positively, so that it will not come as a surprise when your child encounters someone who is different or with a disability.
Read also: 6 Ways To Teach Kids About Giving and What It Means To Be Generous
Raising well-mannered children is a lifelong education that will not happen overnight. A little patience will go a long way. When you teach manners to your child in love, kindness and patience, your child will emulate the same and grow up to be kind and respectful people ready to make a difference one day.
