Attachment Parenting is a child rearing approach intended to forge strong and secure attachments between parents and children, and was popularised by American pediatrician William Sears. The ideology is that this secure attachment during childhood creates the foundation for secure relationships and independence as adults.
The origin of attachment parenting actually takes its roots from the attachment theory by British psychoanalyst John Bowlby, who analysed orphans and abandoned children in the mid 20th century.
Principles defining Attachment Parenting
There are eight principles that define attachment parenting (AP), identified by Attachment Parenting International (API), a worldwide educational association for AP. You may be surprised to find that you could already be enjoying certain attachment parenting benefits!
1. Prepare for pregnancy, birth and parenting
Preparation for attachment parenting begins before birth, with the removal of negative thoughts and emotions surrounding pregnancy, birth and parenting. Research and discussions with your partner regarding routine newborn care before birth is the first investment in attachment parenting.
2. Feed with love and respect
The act of feeding a child is more than just to provide nutrients. It is an act of love and respect by observing and responding to hunger cues. Feeding time is an opportunity to strengthen the bonds with children.
3. Respond with sensitivity
Though babies are unable to talk, they communicate their needs in various ways by using body language, crying and facial expressions. You may not know what your baby needs, but by responding consistently to your baby’s needs with sensitivity, he will grow to trust you.
4. Use nurturing touch
A nurturing touch satisfies a baby’s need for physical contact, security and movement. Growth-promoting hormones are stimulated, intellectual and motor development are improved when babies receive nurturing touch.
5. Ensure safe sleep, physically and emotionally
To keep babies feeling safe, avoid using sleep training techniques to force babies to adapt to a night time routine unnaturally. Instead, practise co-sleeping, where the baby is in a cot in your room within reach.
6. Provide constant, loving care
Young children require the constant presence of a loving and responsive caregiver as they are still new to the world. Schedules should be kept flexible to minimise stress during periods of separation.
7. Practise positive discipline
Positive discipline is empathetic and respectful, and targets the causes leading to the behaviour, rather than reacting to the behaviour.
8. Strive for balance in your personal and family life
In order to respond sensitively, you have to feel in control and balanced. To recognise and meet needs without sacrificing too much of your own health, take time off to recharge.
Attachment Parenting Benefits
Parents who practise attachment parenting believe that their children will become adults with empathy and connection. It is believed that by eliminating violence when disciplining children, society as a whole will become less violent.
In its truest form, the biggest attachment parenting benefit is the formation of a close and secure relationship between parents and children using kindness, respect and dignity. Parents are encouraged to model these attributes for their children to emulate and take after.
Attachment Parenting Examples
These attachment parenting examples are commonly practised by parents using the attachment parenting methods.
1. Breastfeeding
The optimal method for feeding infants is breastfeeding. Apart from the many health benefits for both mother and baby, it is a method that encourages healthy physical, emotional and mental development. It comforts a baby naturally and helps you be attuned to your baby’s needs.
If you prefer to use a bottle, it is recommended that you hold your baby close, maintaining eye contact and talking to your baby and feed on cue instead of a fixed schedule.
2. Babywearing
Skin-to-skin contact is often practised in hospitals for premature infants and newborns as it calms them down, regulates their body temperature and heartbeat, and provides a sense of security.
Beyond the hospital, babywearing is a way of continuing this practice of keeping your baby as close to you as much as possible. Soft structured carriers and wraps are accessories for babywearing and you can learn how to wear these properly for maximum comfort and safety.
3. Co-sleeping
Co-sleeping is one of the many attachment parenting examples. It is the practice of sleeping within an arm’s reach of your baby. Keeping your baby close to you helps you develop a heightened response to your baby’s needs and encourages responsive parenting.
What critics say about attachment parenting
As with every parenting method, attachment parenting has its fair share of critics. A major argument is that with attachment parenting, parents often find the transition from babyhood to toddlerhood difficult to manage.
Attachment parenting can be draining on the parents as it requires the parent to be in close proximity with their children most of the day. There is also the argument that sleep training does not impact children negatively, though there is no clear outcome.
Reading up on attachment parenting can help you make a more informed decision as to whether you should use this method in raising your child. Ultimately, your choice should be one that you agree with and makes you feel comfortable.
